Why self-care can be tricky for new mums - Geelong counselling & therapy
Becoming a mother is a profound and life-altering experience. Amidst the joy and wonder, there's also a struggle many new mums face which is self-care. While it may seem straightforward to prioritise your own well-being, the reality is often far more challenging. Some of the reasons why you may find it tricky:
The Demands of Motherhood
Motherhood is a full-time job, and then some. From the moment your baby is born, your days and nights blur together as you navigate feeding, nappy changes, soothing cries, and endless chores. The demands are relentless, leaving little time or energy for anything else.
As a new mum, your primary focus naturally shifts to your baby's needs. Your days become a whirlwind of caregiving tasks, leaving little room for personal care. Basic care needs like showering, eating, and even sleeping are often sacrificed in the name of meeting your baby's needs.
The Guilt Factor
One of the most significant barriers to self-care for new mums is guilt. Many mothers feel guilty for taking time away from their baby to focus on themselves. They worry that prioritising their own needs somehow makes them selfish or neglectful mothers. Side note, it does not!
This guilt is often compounded by societal expectations and pressure to be the "perfect" mum who effortlessly juggles all responsibilities without faltering. As a result, many new mums push aside their own well-being in an attempt to live up to unrealistic standards.
Lack of Support
Support is crucial for any new parent, but unfortunately, many new mums find themselves lacking the support they need to prioritise self-care. Whether it's due to geographical distance from family and friends, a partner's demanding work schedule, or simply a lack of understanding from those around them, many mothers find themselves navigating motherhood alone.
Without a strong support system in place, it becomes even more challenging for new mums to carve out time for themselves. They may feel guilty asking for help or feel like they're burdening others with their needs, further perpetuating the cycle of self-neglect.
Unrealistic Expectations
Society often glorifies the image of the "supermum" who can do it all – raise children, excel in her career, maintain a perfect home, and still find time for self-care. However, the reality is far more complex.
New mums are bombarded with images of celebrity mothers who seem to effortlessly balance motherhood and self-care, leading to unrealistic expectations. When they inevitably fall short of these ideals, they may feel like failures, further diminishing their motivation to prioritise self-care.
The Myth of Self-Sacrifice
From a young age, many women are taught that self-sacrifice is synonymous with good motherhood. They're told that putting their own needs aside for the sake of their children is not only noble but necessary.
While it's true that motherhood requires sacrifices, constantly neglecting your own well-being is neither sustainable nor healthy. Self-care isn't selfish; it's a vital component of being a happy, healthy mother.
Overcoming the Challenges
While self-care may seem like an elusive goal for new mums, it's not impossible. Here are a few strategies to help overcome the challenges:
Redefine Self-Care: Self-care doesn't have to be elaborate or time-consuming. It can be as simple as taking a few minutes to breathe deeply, enjoying a hot cup of tea, or going for a short walk around the block.
Ask for Help: Don't be afraid to reach out for support from friends, family, or your partner. Whether it's help with childcare, household chores, or simply a listening ear, having a support system in place can make a world of difference.
Set Boundaries: Learn to say no to commitments that drain your energy and prioritise activities that bring you joy and fulfilment.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself and remember that you're doing the best you can in a challenging situation. Give yourself permission to prioritise your own well-being without guilt or shame.
Seek Professional Help: If you're struggling to prioritise self-care or experiencing symptoms such as low mood, lack of motivation, ongoing worry it is important to seek support from a mental health professional.
Self-care is not a luxury reserved for those with ample time and resources; it's a necessity for all mothers, especially new ones. Remember it is important to take care of yourself to be able to take care of your baby, you matter too! If you are needing assistance navigating these challenges please reach out to Nurture today.