Why am I having intrusive “scary” thoughts as a mum? Geelong counselling and therapy

Understanding Intrusive Thoughts as a New Mum

Becoming a mother is a life-changing experience filled with joy, love, and often, overwhelming responsibility. Amidst the sleepless nights and countless diaper changes, many new mums find themselves battling an unexpected challenge—intrusive thoughts.

What Are Intrusive Thoughts?

Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, involuntary thoughts or images that can be distressing and are often out of character. For new mums, these thoughts might involve fears of harming the baby, concerns about not being a good mother, or worries about catastrophic events. It's important to understand that these thoughts are common and do not reflect your true intentions or capabilities as a mother. There is also no evidence to suggest that mothers act on these unwanted thoughts.

Why Do They Happen?

Intrusive thoughts are often a result of the heightened anxiety that comes with new motherhood. The immense pressure to care for and protect a newborn, combined with hormonal changes and lack of sleep, can contribute to these unwelcome thoughts. Additionally, the significant transition into motherhood can trigger underlying anxiety or depression, which might amplify these experiences.

Common Intrusive Thoughts for New Mums

- Fear of Accidental Harm: Worrying about accidentally dropping the baby, suffocating them during sleep, or other accidents.
- Fear of Intentional Harm: Thoughts of hurting the baby, which can be incredibly distressing and cause deep guilt.
- Catastrophic Fears: Imagining worst-case scenarios, like the baby falling ill or being taken away.
- Doubts About Motherhood: Fears of being an inadequate mother or concerns about not bonding with the baby.

“What if I slip down the stairs and drop the baby?”

“What if I burn the baby in the bath?”

“What if I let go of the pram and it goes onto the road into traffic?”

How to manage with Intrusive Thoughts

1. **Acknowledge the Thoughts:** It’s important to recognize that these thoughts are a common part of the postpartum experience. Acknowledge them without judgment, understanding that having a thought doesn't mean you will act on it.

2. **Practice Self-Compassion:** New mums often place immense pressure on themselves to be perfect. Remember that motherhood is a learning process, and it’s okay to struggle at times. Be kind to yourself and recognize that these thoughts don’t define you.

3. **Talk About It:** Sharing your experiences with a trusted partner, friend, or therapist can provide relief. Sometimes, just speaking about these thoughts out loud can diminish their power.

4. **Grounding Techniques:** When an intrusive thought occurs, try grounding techniques like deep breathing, focusing on your surroundings, or engaging in a calming activity to bring yourself back to the present moment.

5. **Seek Professional Help:** If intrusive thoughts are persistent, cause significant distress, or interfere with your ability to care for yourself or your baby, it may be helpful to seek support from a mental health professional. Therapy, particularly Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), can be effective in managing these thoughts.

Remember: You Are Not Alone

Most mums experience intrusive thoughts, even though it may feel isolating. Understanding that these thoughts are a common part of the postpartum journey can help reduce the stigma and fear associated with them. Motherhood is challenging, and it’s okay to seek help and support when you need it.